Women are just like fine wine. I only like the white ones.

Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat? A: The Grape-full Dead!

Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy. Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a d ... read more

The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.