Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
214
0
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children.
You put groceries in the other.
310
0
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
5724
3
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
250
0
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
