Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? A: Bob.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."

An accountant is walking along the beach (also, not the joke) and he finds an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it and of course, a genie appears. The genie says "I am the most powerful genie that has ever lived. I can do great and wonderful things and I can grant you your dearest wish. But only one." Well, this accountant is a deeply caring individual. He pulls out a map of the Mediterranean area and says, "My dearest wish is that you solve the Arab-Israeli conflict in the Middle East." The genie strokes his beard and looks worried. "Oh dear, " he says , staring at the map. "That's a ... read more

Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.