Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: Half a cat.
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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
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A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is ... read more
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A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed. He asks the veterinarian: Is my cat still alive? Still not...
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I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
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