Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

 857

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Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely? A: Playing Frisbee.

 6234

2  

Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.

 1389

1  

Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."

 987

1  

5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".

 1283

1