One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, "This is for ladies!" she screamed. The drunk waved his dick at her and said "So is this!"

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Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird

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A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"

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A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this? " "You're speaking to it."

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What’s the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? Drunks don’t have to go to the meetings.

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