I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.

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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.

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What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.

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