According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist? An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now."
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