Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts? Doctor: Well, stop doing it!
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Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
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Yes, money cannot buy happiness, but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.
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Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Life is like a box of chocolate. It doesn't last long for fat people.
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